Sugar Shakes

9:30 am

So, I can’t believe this.  I woke up an hour early… and took the dog for a long walk!  For real!  My chubby butt doing that without being harassed into it?  Without someone physically removing me from my bed and dressing my limp, resistant body?  Yes, it’s amazing.  I woke up around 7:15 and was wide awake and just fine.  I wasn’t exactly springing out of bed with the energy of a child, but I was fine to just lie there a minute and then get up.  This coming from the woman who used to loathe getting up before 9!!

So, yeah.  I took Dog for a long walk and she loved being out with me in the crisp morning air without the doublewide stroller next to her, threatening to roll over her feet.  She was pleased.  However, that also meant she was pulling terrible and trying to be all over the place.  I realized if we were going to be doing this more often, I needed to get her to walk on a leash properly.  It was so hard that one of my hands was getting raw from trying to control her.  It made what was supposed to be a nice jog/jaunt more stressful.  But, if I slacked now, might as well keep letting her threaten to trip me with all her winding around.  About halfway through the walk I decided to stop trying to get her to be perfect and first things first, try to at least keep her on my right side – no winding back and forth.  That worked alright.  But honestly, Dog is 100 lbs, not so easy to control at times… like if she sees a dog or Lord help me,  a rabbit.

So anywho, it’s the most interesting phenomenon… to me, anyway.  Before I went to bed last night, I weighed myself.  Just out of curiosity.  I weighed the same as I did that morning!  Insanity!  I think most of us put on a few pounds during the day, at least I always did.  Very nice.  Also, don’t worry – I’m not becoming obsessed with the scale.  It’s actually good that I am weighing myself, because I’m one of those people who never steps on the scale.  I hated obsessing about my weight – but unfortunately, not weighing myself didn’t mean I weighed any less!!

I weighed myself again this morning and I dropped more weight.  Such an awesome feeling to see the scale go down when for a few weeks before starting Slim 4 Life I was struggling two lbs up or down constantly.  I have my next weigh-in/check-in tomorrow morning.  So, it will be motivating for me to stay on track for one more day til I get that official reward of seeing my progress once more.  I do like this program for that fact.  A week long on WW was a long time for me to go.
Anywhooo, enough babbling for this morning.  No doubt I’ll be back to bend your ear (eyes?) once more.

Feeling alright fullness-wise.  Seriously, thank goodness for Chefband.  Huschef?  I need to come up with a nickname for the guy!  Hmm…

Anyway, as I was saying, thank goodness for him because he has been making my dinners!  And it has a lot to do with my success because at the end of the day, I’m usually so exhausted from a long day with the kids and doing house-stuff, and sooo hungry, that if he weren’t there to make me those meals, I might have just grabbed something bad.  And doing that would have only made me feel like it I was off the wagon, and therefore do even worse at other times.  He says he enjoys it since the meals in the S4L cookbook are simple and the best thing is, for his own dinner he can eat whatever he wants.  Husband is a creature of habit in such a way that his idea of bliss is to make a huge VAT of hot chili and eat it… every. night.  Works for me!  Because when he makes my dinners, he doubles the recipe (recipe is usually for one, dumb huh) and then I have something to heat up for lunch or another dinner.  It works out and has been a huge help these first few days.

So yayee, Husband!  He even made me a desert.  Get this, he put like 5 big strawberries in the food processor and added just a swig of my diet Hansens (soda).  Mixed that all up, stuck it in the freezer and when I got home that night (was out with my Mom) I had a lovely, healthy fruit smoothie!  That was deelish, and just one fruit serving.  Faaaabuloso.

I did have a couple temptations today.  After my weigh-in, I brought my kids to McHealthy’s (yeah, McD’s) and they got Happy Meals.  I havent’ been to fast food in SO. LONG.  They hadn’t either and since it was such a cold, snowy day, I knew they needed to run off some energy at the playplace (How I wish places with healthy food, had play places!!!).  Anyway, I didn’t think it would be tempting, but once I unwrapped their food and handed it to them, I was so tempted to take a big bite out of my daughter’s cheeseburger, or nab a few fries here and there.  It was a familiar smell, and the luscious salt hahaha…  I usually wouldn’t think twice about taking a bite or two because they rarely finish their food, and it’s like habit.  I stayed away and munched on apple slices instead

Then later on this evening I was upstairs putting clothes away and I came across the bag I had packed for a family outing a few days earlier.  As I emptied it out, at the bottom lay two mini Slim Jims.  I. love. beef. jerky.  I love Slim Jims even more.  And it’s a new love.  I haven’t had them in years until maybe a month ago when I rediscovered them in a Target – my 2 year old had gotten hold of one and wouldn’t let go.  yeah.  yum.  I seriously didn’t even think twice, I picked up the slim jim and was about to rip it open.  Yes!  Completely mindlessly!  I was holding it up, looking for the little tab to rip and suddenly I was like “wait,… aren’t i like… working towards something?”  Seriously? How could I forget?  Eating all day long, grazing on this and that has become like second nature!  I’m so glad I realized it and put it away.  But there was a small moment where the chubby devil Coley on my shoulder was like “Who will know?  It’s just ONE thing.  Youv’e been doing so well!”

My answers were, “My body will know, it IS just one thing, and I’ve been doing so well – why eff it up?”  I put them away successfully.  And for the third time in my life – my eating today was perfect!

So, I’m feeling a tad down(ish) tonight.  I’m not sure why.  Maybe it’s this nagging headache.  Like I’m really having sugar/carb withdrawls or something, lol.  Who knows, either way, I think I’m gonna call it a night early.  I’m going to be visiting my BFF this weekend and meeting up with two other fabulous women for a girl’s night out.  It will be my first meal out of the house since I’ve started S4L, so I’m a bit nervous about that.  But what I will do is make the best decisions as I can, and also realize that LIFE happens, and you can indulge now and then (just not everyday) and most of all, enjoy myself, my company and the food – without overdoing it.  I’m looking forward to having time with girlfriends and catching up and dressing purty.  Should be nice

Alright, so on S4L you visit their center anywhere from 2-6 times per week – depending on what you need!  Since I just started I am supposed to visit (and weigh in) three times per week.  So, I started the plan on Saturday and today is Monday so I went in for my first check-up and weigh-in.  She looked over my food journal and was satisfied with what she saw.  She better had been!  I did so well that if she said I did anything wrong I may have scratched her eyes out!  In my imagination anyway.

Well, the successful discipline (and also the help of my husband who was a ton of help!) I lost 5 lbs! On the morning of my 3rd day!

I suddenly, while standing on the scale, started thinking of the number 11.  I’m not saying I’m psychic, just curious as to why that number popped into my head suddenly.  I wonder at my 1-week weigh in on Saturday… will I have lost 11 lbs?  How COOL would that be!?  I know it’s not a weekly thing, surely all my hair would fall out and then I’d die.  But for a first week, it’s really motivating so yayee!

I just had my lunch.  Leftovers from a dish husband made for me, so it was already in it’s little pre-portioned bowl, ready for me to heat-n-eat.  I did and it was even more deelish the 2nd time around.  Now I’m snacking on four big strawberries and I should be great for a few hours.

Still feeling a nice level mood, and level energy as well.  It’s great!  I can’t even tell you how great and amazing.  I’ve always been such an up and down person when it came to energy and moods.  To know that I may have had more control than I realized, is sad on one hand, but great on another – because I can do the work it takes to give myself (and those around me haha!) that gift

So yeah!  The current weight is 298.25!!

Hello world!  I’ve started and stopped this journal several times already, so I won’t restart it with a big huge background on me.  I’m sure I’ll blabber on enough about my past as time goes on.  What I really just wanted to do this evning was “put pen to paper” and get this blog-party started.

I am Coley and I’m 27 years old.  I’ve got over 100 lbs to lose!  (Actually my documented number is 129)  I joined Slim 4 Life last week and after going to my orientation class on Friday, I started yesteday, Saturday.  Right now, I’m on the evening of day two.

And I’m hungry.

But to be honest, it isn’t so bad.  It’s a strange thing, really.  The day I signed up, I cried.  Not only because I was saying goodbye to a lot of money.  (Yes, it’s one of those plans)  But to be honest, right now, I don’t regret a thing.  Of course, it IS only day two.  But, I don’t feel deprived and this is the first program I’ve been on where I’m really forced to make healthy choices!  Well, I did do South Beach for a few weeks before and I ate really healthy on that, but I ate a bit too much and the first few weeks made me MOODY.  AS.  ALL. GETOUT!

So far, so good on S4L.  I have a list of foods that I can eat, and that is that.  I also have a little sheet that tells me how much of what I’m supposed to eat.  It may sound incredibly restricting (and also the reason i cried upon sign up) but it’s been really amazing for me.  I NEED that restriction and I NEED to be told.  I’ve gotten through both days with only some hints of hunger, but nothing so uncontrollable that I worried about whether I’d last on the program.  Also, because of the very low amounts of sugar (but we do eat limited carbs) I have also maintained a very even energy leverl which is um… yeah.. HUGE for me!  I was always on an UP or a DOWN and it’s been horrible, for years!  I can’t wait to continue and mostly I can’t wait to weigh in and see where my discipline is taking me.

So, I’ll just leave you with the stats, please spare me the insults. Yeah, I’m fat.  And if you’ve got anything bad to say about it, also realize that you’ve got a booger sticking out of your nose.

Start day: 03.28.09

Start wt: 303.25

-

I’m going to write a list of non-number goals here soon, which should be fun to “check” them off when I accomplish them.  But for now, I’ll leave you with general number goals.  The biggies!

I guess I could say like 279 as it’s been a while since I’ve been under 280.  I could even say the same for 269 and 259 but those weights are really all just a blur.

My biggest first goal is just getting under 250.

1.  249

Next, my wedding day weight.  (I wore a blue suit, in a court room.  Maybe one day I’ll have  a real wedding and I’ll fit in my dream dress to make it all perfect)

2. 245

Next, the weight I was when I met my husband.

3. 235

My high school grad weight.  I was quite the hottie at this size!!  Woohoo! And at 5’11″, about a size 14/16

4. 215

ONEDERLAND!!

5. 199

The lowest weight I EVER remember being!  I was 17 and I worked out hard for 2.5 months to get there

6. 185 (It was very, very short lived)

My GOAL weight

7. 174.

To be honest, maybe I’ll be happy, comfortable and fit at 185, or maybe I might realize that I’ll find those things at 165, we’ll see.  But that’s my general, healthy goal!

All my “special number” goals.  Of course, every 5 lb increment is gonna be something to celebrate and oh trust me, I will!