I’ve been doing pretty well at lowering my portions.  Waiting before taking 2nd helpings, rarely taking 2nd helpings at all, in fact.  Making smaller plates for myself, chewing slowly, taking more time.  Asking myself and taking note of what’s going on in m’noggin before snacking and I’ve also been saying No more to things that I haven’t needed and “haven’t wanted enough” – instead of just straight up indulging ‘because it’s good’.  It’s summer, afterall, so there’s been lots of visits to Coldsonte creamery and other ice cream joints – and I’ve been able to say no more.  I’m willing to say yes, but only when I REALLY want it – and so far, it’s cool to be able to decide against it.

I haven’t been that active, though. GOing on walks with the kids every other day, but that needs to be more like every single day.  I haven’t dropped any weight, but it’s leveled off which is good in its own way.

Just so you all know, i’ve been contemplating surgery again… and also contemplating getting a persona trainer instead.  Just contemplating. Those who’ve read my blog know it’s a thought that comes and goes many, many times (the surgery thing) – and it’s not something that I want to do gung ho – as I’ve talked myself out of it for 10 years now…

Seriously.  Can ANYBODY out there really say that they’ve lost a large amount of weight without feeling hungry? I hear people, read articles that say eat when you’re hungry – but at this point, my body was so used to having so many calories – I’m gonna have to DEAL with hunger, right?  Feels like torture and I know I’m not into that sort of thing!  Ugh… I wonder when this feeling goes away…

I’ve been thinking, as of this morning, about revamping my blog.  Maybe changing locations, maybe just format but the biggest change would be – the focus.  I’ve read that Women, Food and God book that I’ve told you all about and it definitely has changed a bit in my head, in a great way.  It’s interesting that I, who’s prided myself on being open minded and aware, really wasn’t that aware.  But that’s okay, we learn and grow all the time.  I realized that I’ve been living this life of brokenness.  I’ll live after and when I lose weight, when I become the certain person that I want to be – I will live then.  I will focus on life… THEN.

I’m a complete and full person NOW.  I have things I need to sort out, yes.  Things I need to pay attention to, yes.  But that will always be!  I am complete, and full… NOW.

Soooo, I’m thinking of starting up a just full-life blog, that will still have my ventures for a healthful life… but right now, I’m going to decide whether to move my blog or not.  I like wordpress, but feel my free status here is limited until I pay- cha-chang.  Soooo anyway… I’ll decide in the next few days if I’ll move things… and I’ll let you all know first!

I’m looking forward to having a full-life blog   Not just one that I stay away from because I feel failed or stalled – I don’t need to focus on those aspects of life – only moving forward and rejoicing in where I am now.